I want to sleeeeeep.

Really, I do. I just got home from a 24 hour shift, which is usually not a big deal. The night half, however, was not good this time. We were rather busy all night, and I only managed about an hour of sleep in the Ambulance.

And now, we are off on a little road trip to see some friends and all that jazz.

Yes, this is a worthless entry. Deal with it.

Peace.

Double Post

I want to write tonight. I identify with an Isaac Asimov quote. "I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." I am there right now. The problem is, I feel completely uncreative, and completely reminiscent.

So, the only smart thing to do right now is go to bed. I might just do that.

For crying out loud...

First of all, why the crap am I up so late? It is about 4:30 AM. I have to be up for work in 24 hours. STUPID. Why does my body do this to me? Do I not get enough done during the week, and I know that I have to make up for that on my version of the weekend? I do not know.

Company Christmas party is later this week. Fortunately, I bought some nice clothes about a year ago, and I have not really gotten any fatter since then. Amazingly. So, I will have some good, comfortable stuff to wear.

And now, the update you have been waiting for.

I hurt my hip. I do not know how. I have no idea what I did to it. But it hurts. For this reason, my fat ass still has not made it onto a treadmill. I suck at life.

Seriously, it is always something. Secretly, I am actually really worried about this stupid hip, but I am determined to work through it. Football players catch passes with broken fingers. Baseball players run into the wall with broken ribs. I can walk on a stupid treadmill with a bit of pain in my hip.

I still need to make that scale purchase. That is just waiting on money. December is a bad month for us and our bills. It is actually causing quite a bit of stress.

I hate complaining, and I am sorry that I left this post full of complaints. The truth is, I am freaked out by a lot of stuff right now, and I am not handling it well. But, at the least, my freakout triggered my last few posts, as well as my new attitude. Hopefully, that means something.

Coming soon, New Years Resolutions. Also coming soon (possibly), some talk of my childhood, and how I got this way.

Update!

There is nothing to update. I have no money to buy a scale, and work has not really allowed me to exercise this week. But I am still all fired up about it! So, I think it really starts in earnest tomorrow or so.

It is always sad to watch the 49ers completely out play a team, and lose. Very sad indeed.

And this one's for me. (AKA Pt. 2)

Time to drop a little something. Goals.

First of all, it is time to stop pretending. I need to buy a scale. It is time that I stopped pretending that I do not care about the number. I did not. Now, I do. I weigh over 300 pounds. This is not okay with me. Until I know my weight, goals will be out of order, but for now, I will group them by type.

Type 1: Pounds lost.

The goals here will be pretty straight forward.

5 Pounds lost. Because you have to start somewhere.
10 Pounds lost. Because you have to keep going.
25 Pounds lost.
50 Pounds lost.
75 Pounds lost.
100 Pounds lost.

Type 2: Weight reached

Again, really straight forward.

300 Pounds.
299 Pounds.
275 Pounds.
250 Pounds.
225 Pounds.
200 Pounds.
199 Pounds.

Type 3: Fitness goals.

Mostly to be determined, though here are a couple I know I want to reach.

45 minutes on treadmill without break.
Bike 1 mile.
Bike 5 miles.
Bike to work and home.

And, of course, my fashion goals. Some still TBD.

Fit in my Sacramento Kings hockey sweater.
Fit in my Tim Rattay 49ers jersey.
Fit in my XL basketball jerseys.
Fit in my jean shorts.
Fit in my old XL t-shirts.
Fit in my smaller XL t-shirts.

Yeah. I'm tired of my negative self image as it relates to my body.

This one goes out to the FLG.

I am so inspired by FLG. Seriously. Dude, you make me want to do what you are doing so badly. Yes, I am starting at a weight even below what you are currently, but you have also lost more than I even want to lose! You are such a rock star, I can not even tell you.

And so, I have made a decision. I am done with the excuses for reasons to not get my ass in gear and start being active. I am going to start hitting the treadmill after work. I want to be out there every other day at the absolute minimum. I want to stay out there for at least 30 minutes every time. I want to work my way back on to the bike, and then on to a real bike. I want to ride my bike to work, and not feel like I can not muster the energy to ride it home. I want not to breathe heavy when I have done something simple. I want to lose about 100 pounds*, and I want to feel like I did in college. I want to not be one of the fat guys at work. I want to fit in every single shirt that is piled on the top shelf of my closet. I want for this damn 2XL shirt to feel loose, not snug.

And there is more.

Different bat-time, different bat-days.

Same bat-job.

I got my new schedule!

I will be working half an hour earlier (ugh, 5 AM. Waking around 4. Yuck.), but my days have changed entirely. I will now have Thursday-Saturday off! YAY! A weekend day off!

This is not at all what I was expecting. I thought I would be working later in the day, similar days. This is probably better, though not for everything.

The other low point is that I will work 7 straight days at the beginning of the year because of the shift change. Boo. Oh well.

Off to do laundry and whatnot.